somedays

Every so often it is difficult to accept the smalltown life.

These are the moments when the pull of adventure and the unknown becomes difficult to resist.  The lights and life of the city sets at a tantalizing distance.  People, places, perspectives.

All of this equates to a paralyzing doubt.  

I begin to question my purpose, its significance.  Have I chosen an unobtainable path?  Where will this road lead?  What was I thinking?

Not to mention my birthday is approaching.  I don't mind being a year older, it doesn't bother me.  But I kind of see my birthday as my own New Years and feel that this year needs a resolution.  

My birthday also reminds me of a friend lost just after my 18th.  Heavy.  

I have been weighted.  I have been trying to elevate my spirits and mind lately, but it has been quite the struggle.  

I concentrate on breathing.  That seems to help.

Generally, I try to keep it light here in the field barn, but this has been keeping things fogged for quite sometime and I thought sharing may help.