...usually interspersed

Now is the moment where instead of working on my Student Observation assignment that is due tomorrow I write a blog post much more difficult to work through than my assignment.

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What a year this has been.

I will try to put it into words but it is difficult to muster ones to do it justice.

The new year began with concerns to the home front and worry for dear Joanna.  There was that moment of horror when news came that she had only hours left.  When she defied that prediction our hearts were buoyed.  With her stabilized, the members of my household returned to Portland.  My mind on classes but all our hearts surrounding Joanna in her hospital bed.  The joy of Eurydice brought comfort and distraction.  Our prayers became for fervent.  Then Thursday night I came home from class to a dark house.

By now it was nearing late-February. 

The next day there was a rush to make an afternoon flight and my household had flown back to Indiana.  I stayed.  With our trio of dogs I my heart was in limbo.  We were warned there was short-time and knowing the pain my family was facing was horrible.

That last Saturday in February Joanna found her rest.  She had fought every minute of every day.

My heart broke to know she was gone.  

It broke for the pain her family was feeling.

It broke for my dear Rachel.

That week preparations were made and at the end of it we gathered.

I had flown in Friday, meeting up with cousins at the airport. 

We spent the next two days paying respects and admiring the tremendous life Joanna had lived.  It was so full and touched so many people.  We heard stories of her love and kindness.  We remembered her passion.  We laid her to rest.

Now we carry that life in our hearts.  We pull apart memories and moments, staring at photographs.  Thinking in the realm of before and after.  In our memories and thoughts she lingers and we find ways to honor her.  

We seize the day.

We don't wait around, she never did.

We go all in.

Some days we cry.

Some days we laugh.

Some days we do both...usually interspersed.

We love.

When this photo was taken last fall I dismissed it because I didn't like the uneven light on Joanna's face.  I didn't know then it would be the last one the two of us would take together.