buzz

This morning, at 5:45am, I woke up with a pit of nervousness in my gut.  It was a good kind of nervous anticipation with a twist of terrified.  For so long I've been trying to decipher and piece together my next step in life.  Last night was my first taste of a game plan in months.  Suddenly, it all became clear and I have something to aim for.  Goals, timelines, a check list so to speak.  That nervous buzz inside got me out of bed this morning.  I haven't had a reason to get out of bed for so long.  I've been trying so hard to sift through the idealistic future I saw and pick out the particles of reality.  It's been a tough and daunting pill to swallow.